Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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