Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
