Cold hands, warm shart.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
