Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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