so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Just pee around me
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
