Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
this is an emotional support booty call
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
