So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
