he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
