AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
