Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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