Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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