summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Randomize
