Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
