woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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