Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
