great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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