I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
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