Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
