Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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