we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
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