Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
