So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
