Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
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