Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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