Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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