I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
