Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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