the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
