yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
