so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
