I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
