now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He shit in the fireplace
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
