Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
