Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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