Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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