He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
