If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize