my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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