I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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