Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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