I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
