dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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