At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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