The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
