maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Alive.
So much puke
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
