I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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