So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Sext me about skeletons
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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