I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
