Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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