Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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