omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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